After working all weekend, I got to celebrate Memorial Day with friends and family. We tried to go to the beach first but the sea lice were so bad that we got stung several times so we ended up calling it a day and going to hang with friends and swim in their pool. I had a amazing time and so did the kids.
Out of the blue, yesterday, my mother in law called and asked if she could take My 10 year old for a week. I'm not sure why she called out of the blue but I was very short and told her my daughter was getting her hair cut. As I sat there, I thought about how we haven't heard from her, haven't gotten anything from her in months, and then this. Hopeful that enough time had passed, I started telling her about my concerns for her son via text. She then called me back, and said she tried to send a text but she didn't think it went through. I waited until I got the kids home and out of the car to return her call. I then listened for 45 minutes, while she told me everything was my fault. I tried twice to hang up and then she would reply no, no, no and then it would start up again. No genuine concern for anyone, but everything, and I mean everything was my fault right down to the affair.
It was a slight setback, I really felt horrible again, as I do with any interaction between my husband and I and now with her. Obviously the enabling behavior is going to continue. I told her everything, and yet somehow it was my fault for letting him back in, it was my fault for continuing to let him come back. I mean horrible conversation.
I have had many things going on this week, some good and some bad, but when I got finished with that phone call, I stopped for a minute to thank God for removing the negativity and toxicity one person at a time from my life. I have not talked to her since February, and I plan on not talking to her again for quite a while.
On the bright side of things, The 10 year old got a phone call Monday night and again on Tuesday from her dad. Although he asked her if she wanted to get her haircut, (like I would force her somehow) he at least called and spent 4 minutes on the phone with her Monday, and 8 minutes on the phone with her Tuesday. It's a start.
Today, I filed for a continuation on my divorce. I tried to call and talk to him this morning about things that all of my children have said in the past couple of weeks. I'm asked them how I can help their relationship improve with their dad to which both of the older ones told me I couldn't. They both expressed disinterest in continuing a relationship with him. The 14 year old said she gave him a opportunity when he took her to the orthodontist a few weeks ago, and he remained on his phone the entire time. The oldest does not want him to be a part of her senior year, nor be at her graduation. It really is sad to think that she does not want him there. I explained to him that we are still fighting for him, and our family. He told me he could tell we were fighting for him, when she says she doesn't want to him to be a part of her graduation. I tried to explain that they are hurt and say things, but it was to no avail. He is not receiving the messages I was sending.
I am still hopeful that at some point my husband will come around, that he will be the father that God has called him to be. If it comes out that there is a problem, I'm hopeful that the medications will make a difference. If there isn't, I hope that he realizes the most important things in life are his children and that he starts to want to spend more time with them rebuilding so that all of the memories aren't missed.
In the meantime, I'm reveling in each beautiful moment that I get to be a part of..the excitement of the ending of the school year and beginning of Summer. The excitement of college tours and the senior year, from boys to breakups..tears and joy, I get to be a part of every single moment. I missed a lot of them over the past few months, but now I'm taking the time to not only revel in them but enjoy each one of them completely. ❤️
