So another week has passed, and still no changes. I have given up on my children ever knowing or having him as their father again. This weekend was my birthday and Valentines Day. I had offered for him to keep his own children this weekend so I could have fun for once. After all, this would be his 7th trip where he has been gone and I have yet to get a break. Every reader by now knows the answer, he was going out of town. Still claiming it was business, and he didn't know where he would be for the weekend. Once again, she was the most important thing over my children.
This week my girls heard from him once on Wednesday, and once on Thursday. He made promises to buy Savannah a car, and talked with the little girls for 5 minutes on Thursday, and there was still no genuine personal interest in them, their lives, or their well being during that 5 minute phone call. Instead, he lied to them again and told them he was in Pensacola, when really they knew he was gone.
Then came the Valentines cards. A sad attempt at trying to look like a better father. My 10 year old opened hers and in it was a Taco Bell gift card. I am certain these were probably sent to him by his mother, to give the girls, but I digress. When the 10 year old opened the card she asked "Mommy, do you think any money is on it?" and there it was, out of the mouths of babes. In other words, we can't trust anything that he says or does anymore so there probably isn't.
My 14 year old wanted to burn her card and our counselor has said feeling that way is fine and burning therapy is a form of release. On Saturday, he left her a message that said "Hey it's daddy" to which she stated "Who does he think he is? He isn't my dad anymore, he's a sperm donor and nothing else." Mind you in the message he let her know he would be too busy on Valentines Day to actually call her.
My 17 year old showed zero emotion, took the taco bell gift card and said "this means nothing to me."
My 19 year old son asked where his card was, because after all, my ex had raised him since 6 months of age, but because my son has strong opinions and feelings of anger, I guess he is just going to write him off all together.
I ended up having a fantastic weekend despite the feelings and emotions that I was here having to deal with, because of course he was out of town again and can't.
I guess my number one question is how can anyone ever be more important than your children? How do you sleep at night with no guilt or shame about what you have done to them, and what you continue to do. How can she as the mistress be okay with this man treating his children and subsequently his ex wife with such little respect that he just drops everything to see her anytime he isn't required here? How do you go from being an almost stay at home dad with them to not seeing them at all, except for 48 hours every other weekend and even then you are so caught up in her that you can't even spend quality time with them? I mean you really think you know someone, but then they show you their true colors. I can't wait for her to see the true colors of this person, because I have a feeling she is going to be very shocked.
God is still working overtime and blessing us abundantly even through all of this. He continues to supply for our needs and at this point my children have resigned themselves to the fact that he isn't going to be here for them anymore as well.
