Forces Unite

As if my life weren't hectic enough, last night after staying up until almost 1:30 catching up my blog, and purging all of my thoughts, I had just dozed off to sleep when my 14 year old came in crying. She stated she had a nightmare about her daddy and wanted me to call him urgently. I told her to come in and lie down, but then in the doorway of my room was my son's friend who had been staying with us since our lives had taken this unfortunate turn. I asked what happened and to my horror I was told that this 19 year old man had entered my daughter's room and hid at the end of her bed, and touched her feet.

I. WAS. LIVID. 

My first response was to get my son up and tell him what was going on, My second response was to tell this man to get the hell out of my house, in fact as far from it as he could while I processed what had just happened, my daughter was beside herself because naturally she was startled awake by a man hiding at the end of her bed. After I told him he needed to leave, I called my husband and told him to come immediately. He did. 

For the first time in a long time, we were able to put our own feelings aside and handle this fiasco. Once again, another man that I had put trust in, and that had given me no reason to not trust him, had broken my trust. He had been hanging with my son day in and day out for about a year before our situation happened, and the thought process was to let him stay and begin to pay rent to prepare him and my son for moving out on their own in June of this year. He moved in In October, and was the model roommate. Paid rent on time, helped around the house. Never gave any of us a single reason not to trust him. Somewhere along the lines, those boundaries were crossed. 

My husband came over and laid down with me and my daughter once we collected the information to the story, and helped me comfort her until she fell asleep. Around 4:30 a.m. he left and went home. I woke up and got the kids ready for school, and drove the 14 year old and dropped her off. Due to little sleep, I woke up with a migraine and had to come back and lie in bed with a ice pack on my head for several hours. At 11:00 he showed back up to ensure that I was not alone when the man came back to retrieve his things from my house. 

I can not tell you how comforting it was to have him here. He ended up going back to work and then coming back later this afternoon when the young man finally showed up. His father came to pick him up and the situation was handled to say the least. Once again we laid on the bed while debriefing with the kids, and we talked with them and then he was able to leave. 

During this time, I received a call from a lady from NAMI, (National Alliance On Mental Illness) I had reached out to them to ask about a support group for Bipolar Disorder and families of loved ones with BPD. I explained all of the events over the past 9 months, and she spent almost 40 minutes explaining to me how much this sounded like a true Bipolar Episode with even some cycling, and told me my next steps were to get into the support group and go from there. Prior to her calling, he had told me that there was a good chance he was fixing to lose his job. I explained to her that it was like this all the time and that we had a divorce hearing rapidly approaching, She gave me steps and coping skills to put into place to be more stable for my children. 

I then came back into the house, we were able to handle the rest of this situation and he left. It was nice to see him back in tune with me, but due to the stressful situation he was full of anger and rage. I expected that though because I was full of it as well. I still remain hopeful for a miracle in our marriage, but I was thankful that he was there for me and there for my kids for the first time since he had left the last time.

God was definitely in this situation today. A man did not lose his life, and for that I'm thankful. I'm also thankful for him answering part of my prayer and beginning to be here for the children. He had a appointment again this evening, and said he would call us again tonight. I'm thankful that he stepped up to the plate, even though he told me several times that "This is what co-parenting should be" Yes, I'm completely aware, but when you can't stop raging long enough to even communicate with your wife, then that's not a environment conducive to being able to co-parent. Today, I'm rejoicing in the fact that my children are safe and happy and that prayers are being answered one day at a time.