Yesterday was quite eventful.
On Tuesday morning, I woke up at 5 am with chest pain that continued from the day before with vomiting and diarrhea. This went on until 8 am, when I finally knew I was depleted and needed to go to the ER for a bag of fluid. The only time I had ever experienced anything as crazy as that was the time my husband and I both had food poisoning years and years ago. My oldest took me and because of the horrible pain, they did some tests, gave me some fluids and sent me on my way. Morphine and Zofran on board, I went home and slept off and on, when not vomiting for the rest of the day. Wednesday, I woke up and still couldn't even keep water down. Imagine this when you have children wanting to pick them up from a friends house etc etc. It was awful. My oldest was at work, and I knew I had no business driving, I only had phenergan left over from a visit a while back, and it had knocked me out the night before. I went ahead and put my little one in the car, went and picked up the 14 year old, and then went to the doctor with my head hanging over a trash can.
When I got back to the office, I had to wait for quite a while and was still vomiting and vomiting, They came in and loaded me down with IM zofran and that helped, but I was in a nice little ball on the table waiting for what seemed to be an eternity for the doctor. She came in, pushed around on me and sent me into orbit, the next thing I know she is calling the ambulance. Wait what? Why an ambulance? I explained I could drive, but nope she would not let me because I had already been medicated. I had thought earlier to let their dad know that he would need to cover dinner, I was too sick to be able to fix anything for them. The nurse went and got my children from the waiting room and brought them back, we all began trying to call him to just come get them for me because they would not ride in the ambulance...He lives literally 3 blocks from the doctor's office..and I know that everyone is going to be shocked to know, but he could not pick them up.
First off, 19 years. I gave the man 19 years, He has always been a not so great caregiver when I am sick, but this, this was nuts. I just needed him to come get the kids and take care of them, and he couldn't even do that. My gf was at work on the other side of Pensacola (I would later find out so was he) and then my oldest was at work in Ft. Walton. It was finally decided that a complete stranger would bring the girls to the ER with them once the office closed. I was too sick to understand what all was going on, as I did not have enough fluid on board, but once I made it to the ER, got some fluids, got the medications, and my oldest got there angry, I realized exactly what had transpired.
Here's the thing, I'm mistaken as stupid by him weekly. But I question his intelligence daily. My 17 year old daughter had to them take on the parenting role once again, leave work, drive to the hospital, have her best friend take her car and my children back to the house, feed my children, and then bring the car back to her. She then had to call her boyfriend to make sure he could come stay with the girls, and as I said before assume the parenting role because once again, their father did not and..
She was livid.
I had known for a couple of weeks that he was indeed seeing someone in Warrington, almost an hour from him. Why? because I have him followed every time he begins treating my children bad. My oldest, however, found out for herself with a little detective work. She was chomping at the bit, and I couldn't blame her. We finally got home around 11 after stopping to get my car, and doing things that she shouldn't have had to do.
The next morning, she got up and still felt the same and begged me to take a drive with her. I told her I would not, that she was simply beating a dead horse, and there was no reason to try and talk to either of them, I had been down that road before. She told me she was going to drop me off, and go herself, or she was going to take me home, wait for her friend and then go because I was opposed to going, but refused to let her go that far, into that area by herself. So after my electricity got cut off, and I got that handled (because you know he was going to give me more money based on his new salary, but he has not) I went to get the kids something to eat. When she pulled away from Zaxby's I knew exactly what she was doing.
The closer we got, the more angry she got, so I made her pull over and let me drive. As we pulled in, the new girlfriend was just getting out of her car. Of course I asked her her name and if she was dating my husband, and she said yes. And then I said well, you can tel him this doesn't stop until he's good to his kids. She explained that he had been trying, and I explained yes I am fully aware of the bs that he feeds his ladies, and then before I could say anything else, my oldest was out of the car. She told her that since he began seeing her, she had not seen her dad. She explained that when she got MRSA in her leg months ago, he wasn't there, and again for her car wreck, he wasn't there. She explained that he was treating her and her sibings horribly and that she would no longer stand for it. She explained that I was in the hospital, and the girl just sat there completely unmoved. She did inform me that they weren't sleeping together..they never are, dear. I wanted to tell her she better get checked for the surprise he left me, but I decided she can find that one out on her own. So sick as snot, and not feeling my best, I went there with my daughter and let her say her peace. the lady just sat there with a dumb look on her face. I decided in that moment they were meant for each other.
As soon as she got back in the car, she began crying and asked if she could call his ex girlfriend. She said she was NOT his ex girlfriend, that she was a horrible person who just stood there and had no empathy for anything she was saying. I explained that she would need to calm down and then if she felt the need to call her, she could. She was saying she was so much sweeter and that she knew now why I liked her and got along with so well with her. I explained that probably was because she truly was a decent person that identified with being a single mom, who knew that he was a liar. After all, he was sleeping with me, and then going back to her, and then back to me...and I had no reason to lie to her. My kids can tell their own story. I don't know if she ever called her last night or not, I think between the two of them that I would have heard. I know she has seen the love and compassion that she has shown me, and has been coming to terms with being accepting of her.
My oldest took the wheel back down the road, and drove to her father's house. Of course he had ran after the new girlfriend much like he had driven to Tampa to save the last time. Notice I said save the relationship with his new piece, not with his children. She texted and called him and for a while planted herself on his doorstep. I finally begged her that staging a sit in was not the right answer. She then told me that she was going to take me home, and come back with her best friend. At this point, my white flag was up and I was surrendering. I didn't care what she did.
As we pulled into the drive, I received a email that he had notified the police in Santa Rosa and in Gulf Breeze. Awesome. Call them on your children, call them on me, do what you need to do. The smart thing would have probably be to wait for her to get there, listened to what they all had to say, and faced the music for once, but no he did not. In fact, he told me to control her. I am the parent after all. Well, here's the thing..she didn't need controlling until he did all of this to us, so how about you be the dad and come control her? Good luck.
He went back and forth with me telling me if I had money to have him followed and blah blah blah and I told him to keep lying with dogs, he will catch the fleas. And then of course today, everyone is blocked, he doesn't answer the phone when the little kids tried to call this evening, and he waited until almost 4:00 to give me my child support, I'm sure my punishment for letting my daughter feel her feelings and walk in her truth.
As I sit here, I am sure I am being called a liar and a hypocrite by the biggest hypocrite of all. I no longer care. I realize that I can't change the man's behavior, but I can continue to hold him accountable for being a good parent to his children. I have made questionable choices in the past, but I tried to come to him, build a friendship, make things work, and tried to go that route. He wants to make her be a priority and place his kids on the back burner, and eventually he will be the one that gets burned. According to section 7 of the parenting class, it will be here quicker than he can realize.
There isn't a Christian thing I can say in this blog. I need Sunday morning, as bad as I needed the phenergan this week. I am watching and listening to Joyce, but right now I am numb, I think its the point when you realize he is scraping the bottom of the barrel and that no matter how you feel at the moment, you know he could do so much better, and no matter how godly of a woman you are or you aren't, you give up because you realize even Jesus can't fix that. I know in my heart that God could do it, and probably would do it, but the man has to be willing to surrender to that will, and he just is not going to do that.
